Just a thought...

I'm walking down the street. I stop I take a ciggarete out of the pack, light it. The lighter has a big flame but i like it that way. I light my ciggarete, and start walking again. As i'm walking home, some thoughts go threw my mind. Why am i this way ? I'm alone... No friends, no family, no lovers, no soul, no heart, no mind, no weakness, no strenght, no power, no past, no present, no future... So, why am I here ? I near a crossroad and stop in the middle of it. Nothing in sight. Just parked cars and a few people who ignore me. I look to my left and right. After a few seconds i start walking again. I stop in the front of my building to finish the ciggarete. I look up and see the stars. A voice starts talking in my head. Then another one, and so on. "The voices of my past" i think. So i have a past. I remember my friends who died. Why did they die ? Why am I alive and not them ? They had a future, a present, somebody who they loved, somebody who loved them. I don't have nothing... But the, i remember the intro from a game called Guilty Gear. "Why do you fight? For love ? For hate ? For power ? For allegiannce ? For revenge ? For dream ? For justice ? For sin ? For destiny ?" And I started thinking... Why do I fight for? I don't love. I don't hate. I don't have power. Not allegiannce nor revenge. I don't have dreams, I don't care about justice, I sin alot and I don't belive in destiny. So why do I fight ? Then I started hearing voices of my fallen friends. All the good times we been threw. Then I remembered I once had a dream. "Becoming the best!" But what for ? I have no reason for becoming the best... I have no reason for nothing... They I remembered the words of my ex-sensei: "You don't need to have a reason to fight, you don't need to have a reason to love, you don't need to have a reason to live. You just do these things" And I asked myself "what for?" Then I saw the stars... They were so beautifull... They I remembered why I relly fight for. There is one persone in this world for whom I fight, the only one who was allways there for me. Yes, I fight for her! And for my friend! I have a few friends! A few close friends! I have a past, a dark one but it's still a past! I am alive so I have the present, i just need the future! I'll keep going, keep fighting, keep living! I finished my ciggarete, got into the building, called the elevator. It was at 8. I waited for it. The gas monitor was making a strange sound. I stared at the entrance. It was something special, I don't know what, but it was. The elevator arrived, I walked in it. I stared at the mirror. I didn't see anything i like. I hate myself, i hate my hear, the way I talk, the way I walk. The only thing I don't hate is my eyes. I like em. Don't know why but I like em. I entered my house and undressed. And now I'm here writing this. I don't know why I did it but here it is. Just a thought...